One fact I am constantly reminded of is that people have the right to not heal. They have the right to resist and even run from recovery. That's the thing about freedom; we have the choice to not be free at all. I definitely don't want to be one of those people. And chances are you're reading this because neither do you.
"Trauma happens in waves; thus, healing must also happen in waves."
-Unknown
Healing is messy work, and is generally a non-linear path. Half the time I can't tell whether I'm just running around in circles or just witnessing everything come full circle. Nonetheless, I can find myself dizzied by the motions and will often look for a way out of doing the work by taking brain-cations. Whether I'm emotionally checking out for a moment, a week, a month, or a season, is totally dependent on the gravity of the situation. It also depends how scared I am to face my soul, to be totally real with you. I've tried escaping myself, for various intervals of time, over and over again only to revisit this truth: We must look for a way in, not a way out. A way into ourselves. Into that dark cave where we shove all the shit that we don't want to deal with anymore. That's where the answers are. And whether it takes you your whole life to arrive there or it takes you making the decision to go right now,
We will eventually have to go through it if we want to get through it. I'm sure you've heard this by now, and it's because it ain't no joke.
I'm going to say something that might scare you at first. You ready? No matter how prepared, intelligent, wealthy, spiritually woke, or cautious you are, life will always win. It will always have it's way with us. And the sooner we release any plans of controlling our environment or our story, the better off we are.
The lessons:
+ Look for a way in, not a way out.
+ We’re not bad people getting good; we’re wounded people getting better.
+ Find someone you can tell the truth to; we can’t do this alone.
+ Healing isn’t for people who need it. It’s for people who want it.
+ Ask for the serenity to accept your own rate of healing.
+ At this point, I’m not a victim anymore. I’m a volunteer.
+ My reality changed when I forever gave up the hope of having a different past.
+ You can blame others for the way you are; you can only blame yourself for staying that way.
+ How do you know when you’ve hit bottom? When you stop digging.